Apparently people appreciated the 3AM, insomnia-induced Photoshopped pictures of my father. Glad to oblige.

~~~~~

I've currently put my stack of "To Read" books on hold ... as if they hadn't been on hold previously, but I digress. They're on hold. Why? Because I've been reading the archives of the past 5 years of FourFour (http://ping.fm/CfOAO).

I originally found Rich Juzwiak's blog through Cute Overload (http://cuteoverload.com) because of his cat, Winston, who is the weirdest thing I've ever seen/read about ... and this coming from a person who owns a weird-as-hell cat.

Rich also updates a VH1 blog and does fabulous recaps of episodes of "America's Next Top Model" and assorted other shows (such as "Being Bobby Brown" which has solidified my fear of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston.) And as stated, they are fabulous. The simple fact that he likened the power of Anna Wintour to that of the Power of Greyskull has made him one of my favorite bloggers.

Granted, primarily, I've been reading archived blog entries about his cats (Winston and the unfairly normal Rudy, whom I feel should have some strange quirk or at least be purple or have two tails or something in order to give Winston some sort of weirdo competition,) but I seem to be drawn into the awesomely funny stuff he's written about various pop culture happenings.

I am a fan.

~~~~~

So I picked up copies of "Call of Duty: World at War" and "Viva Pinata: Party Animals" from GameStop.

As far as CoD:WaW goes, I don't think I'm a fan. At least, not as big a fan as I am of CoD4:MW ("Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare") anyway. Then again, I've gotten further in the CoD:WaW campaign than I have with CoD4:MW simply because the opening cutscene in CoD4:MW is like 10 minutes long and I can't sit still long enough to deal with it. Despite the fact that I watch enormous amounts of movies and TV shows on my XBox via Netflix and Connect360, I can't be bothered watching cinematic cut scenes when I'm gaming, damn it. And I do feel a little guilty, because the graphics in CoD4's cutscenes are great and I know a group of people spent a lot of time putting them together, but if I'm in the mood for some killing, then I demand instant gratification.

Then there's "Viva Pinata: Party Animals" (hereby known as VP:PA.) I kind of got bored with the original "Viva Pinata" and I did feel bad for trading it in when my time with it was up, simply because it was a gift from my dad and I tend not to take gifts from my father very lightly. I downloaded the demo for "Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise" and that sucked too. But what drew me to VP:PA was the mini-game aspect. I like the idea of being able to play stupid little games that don't get too tedious. I liked the mini-games in the "Pokemon Stadium" games and VP:PA did not disappoint in that aspect.

However, one irritating thing is that all of the pinatas in the game speak with some sort of accent which gets increasingly annoying as you progress through your series of mini-games. Also, from reading through the mini-biographies of the characters in the Instruction Booklet (yes, I am THAT girl,) I found that none of the characters are all that likable, while all of them are incredibly flamboyant, so I suppose what they lack in personality, they make up for in retina-melting camp.

~~~~~

Against my better judgement, I joined Loopt today. And by "against my better judgement" I mean that a co-worker talked me into downloading the Loopt App for my iPhone.

At least it's free. Even if I'll hardly ever use it.

It's bad enough that I'm on Facebook, MySpace and Twitter ... do I really need yet ANOTHER social networking site to add to the list? I'm not that damn popular to begin with!

Hell, one of my last tweets was about a muscle spasm I had that caused me to punch myself in the face.

Then again, I also do quite a bit of tweeting about "Halo 3," which I've been playing quite a bit with friends lately. I'm still not a big fan of the game itself, but I do enjoy the online multiplayer.

~~~~~

It's 5AM and I've finished my "homework" for the evening - downloading the Legendary Map Pack for "Halo 3," and now it's time for bed ... or the more likely scenario, read more FourFour until my eyes start bleeding.

So I got bored tonight while watching "Mythbusters" on Netflix Streaming, when I realized that I wished my dad was Jamie Hyneman, or at least wore a beret and grew himself a walrus mustache. My friend Sean said that the sight of my father in a beret would be priceless.

So people, I give you this:
http://ping.fm/d9gcK

Then I was still bored ... and came up with this:
http://ping.fm/pfi2F

Yup, that's my dad ... as Jamie Hyneman from "Mythbusters" and as a koala. And I totally posted them on Facebook and tagged him in them, so now the world can see my father ... all photoshopped and awesome.

Hell, I already turned one of my co-workers into GOD, turning my father into a koala wasn't too much more difficult.

~~~~~

As I mentioned, I was watching "Mythbusters" a lot. Before that, I was watching the first three seasons of "Deadliest Catch." Next up is "American Chopper."

Back on the topic of "Mythbusters," I am so all about Tory Belleci. And it's also super hot that he worked on two of the "Star Wars" prequels, but I'll forgive him for being a part of "The Phantom Menace."

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- Netflix Streaming on my XBox will be my personal downfall. Even more so now that Anthony was generous enough to give me his XBox remote.

~~~~~

It's that time of year again - the weekend of/before St. Patty's Day usually kicks off the trooping season for me and the CTG.

The parade was awesome. Lots of fun, met a new member and some folks from other garrisons, as well as seeing old buddies that I hadn't seen in years.

This past Saturday was spent at an Aquarium convention ... also with the CTG. I rode up with Prettypants, which is always a fun adventure. We don't hang out as often anymore, but he's still the super-goofy-awesome kid he's always been.

~~~~~

I'm very much so looking forward to May 2-3rd, spent in New London/Mystic for Free Comic Book Day at Sarge's and the Easter Seals Walk-With-Me at the Mystic Aquarium.

Sarge's is always a blast. It's my anniversary event - three years ago, my first event as a member of the 501st was Sarge's, where I met a bunch of people who would become like a second family to me, as well as a few non-members whom I've seen at various events over the past three years. And I definitely can't wait to see them.

And maybe 2009 will be the year I find out the name of a certain comic book psychopath ... whom I've seen at events and Sarge's for the past three years ...

~~~~~

Turdie is currently curled up in his little kitty nest, with his baby kitten blanket, (which has been dubbed, his "Soft-Soft,") and is snoring quite loudly. He's been very good needy lately - following me around, crying all the time, constantly having to be either sitting on me, or immediately next to me.

When I wake up, since he wakes up before I do and is let out of the bedroom before I awaken, he plops himself at my bedroom door and cries until I wake up.

It feels really good to be loved ... and it's a nice feeling, knowing that someone misses you when you're asleep, even though he's a cat.

My quest to download 135GB of "Mystery Science Theater 3000" continues. It's been about 3 weeks, but I'm hopeful to have it finished by Tuesday. As of right now, I'm at 126GB. Nine more gigs to go!

Aside from my ongoing love of "The Office," I've added "30 Rock" to the "Shows I (heart)" List because Kenneth the Page is hilarious.

I'm trying to get into "The Whitest Kids U'Know" but having grown up with "The Kids in the Hall," it's been difficult. The jokes just seem recycled because it's like the "Kids" did them all previously. I have the first and second seasons sitting in my Netflix Instant Queue on XBox and I'm about half-way done with Season 1 and it doesn't make me hope that my brain explodes and my eyes melt and run down my face, so in a few more episodes, I'll probably be forcing all my friends to watch it. (And for the record, SDJ has been raving about TWKUK forever.)

I am now hopelessly addicted to "Metalocalypse." Hopelessly. I'm pretty sure Dethklok is my new favorite band. My friends and I have been quoting it all week - Twitter has been flooded with quotes. And I've been confusing the hell out of the people who follow me with my horrible grammar and adding "s"s to the ends of inappropriate words when quoting Toki and Skwisgaar. (Like, "Oh, thanks Bigs Bens, nows I knows what times it is!" Seriously, who says shit like that?) I also like to text Anthony when I'm hungry with "BY THE POWER OF ALL THAT IS EVIL, I COMMAND YOU TO AWAKEN AND MAKE ME A SANDWICH!" (Despite my best efforts, he has yet to yield and deliver unto me an epic treat composed of deli meats and cheese between two slices of bread.)

It's pretty brutal.

I'm pretty stoked about the fact that in the Special Features folder of my "Metalocalypse" download is the "Skwisgaar Skwigelf Advanced Fast Hands Finger Wizard Master Class" that teaches you to play the guitar solo from the "Duncan Hills Coffee Jingle." That was stuck in my head all day on Wednesday. I have no idea what makes me think I'd be able to play this, since the only guitar I've held in the past year has been plastic with multicolored buttons. Methinks there will be a lot of "I can'ts plays it! It's too damns hard! Skwisgaars always makes it so hard! Damns you stupid, slow, stubby fingers, don'ts looks at me!" Yup.

I also (heart) Toki Wartooth.



Through "Metalocalypse," I've discovered that a Gibson Flying V electric guitar starts at $1,700, while a Gibson X-plorer starts at $2,300. That is f'n expensive. Though I suppose it's worth it to own a Gibson signature model guitar. However, I'll add a Flying V to my list of things to purchase once I'm independently wealthy, acquire my small island off the coast of Costa Rica and have built my dinosaur cloning facility-slash-bullfrog ranch-slash-axolotl sanctuary while flying around in my own personal hovercraft, surrounded by piles of money which, when I'm not swimming in it ala Scrooge McDuck, I use to line the cages of my FLEET of hamsters, all of whom have been trained to kill upon hearing the word "hacienda."

That's right folks, I've got big plans. I just need to finish college first ... and thus far, it's taken me 9 years.

[begin sarcasm and self-depricating humor] I am livin' the dream, people. [end sarcasm and self-depricating humor]

~~~~~

I had my first test in my German class on Wednesday. I studied like hell with my friend Gretchen (while Tedula and Charlie filtered in and out) all day on Tuesday from 12P-8P with only an hour break - for food and a little bit of "Metalocalypse."

Then on Wednesday, we studied from 3P-7P, with our test at 7. I'm pretty confident that I did well. The professor even threw in a verb (machen - to make/do) she hadn't put on our study sheet, which is probably going to get some complaints on Monday (and rightfully so because that was a pretty dick move,) but after guessing on the test and looking it up afterwards, I'm pretty proud that I was right and am damn lucky too.

I studied a LOT for the test and I hope to hell that I got a good grade. The studying was a nightmare, but hopefully the payoff will be worth it. :)

However, even with the 12 hours of studying I did for the test, I did finish it first out of everyone else in the class and it seemed ridiculously easy. So there's that little ping of doubt saying, "It was either really, really easy, or I totally failed everything."

I'm going to do everything I can to get my ducks in a row and do well this semester and the Fall semester, so I can graduate with at least a 3.5GPA. I think I'm at a 3.15 right now - after the horrific mess that was my Physics/Electrical Engineering class two years ago. I've got a good group of friends to help study, so that's always a plus. And I would most certainly like to graduate college before my 10-year high school reunion ... holy crap that's next year.

~~~~~

It brought joy to my heart tonight when Anthony told me how after I'd posted on twitter an excerpt of our IM conversation where he stated "I has lice!", like four people approached him and asked if he seriously had lice. Unfortunately, Anthony denied the existence of head parasites, though he had originally agreed to run with it and make everyone think he really did have lice.

Which makes me realize that people actually DO read the random shit I post on Twitter.

Oh man, for the past month or so, I've been posting ridiculous quotes from TV shows and other various miscellany that was funny to probably only me ... you know, the kind of stuff that could get you sent to that fancy place with white jackets with buckles that make you hug yourself.

So I'm totally in love with Elyse Sewell's LiveJournal (http://ping.fm/EJOt4). Some may remember her as one of the contestants on the first season of "America's Next Top Model." Others may know her from her face being plastered all over my native continent (Asia, for those of you who have yet to see the epic vision that is moi.)

She's awesomely hilarious and I find the fact that she refers to Hong Kong as "Hongers" absolutely delightful. And she's got pretty bitchin' pictures to boot!

A friend from work has been to Japan and Thailand and continuously tells me that I simply must travel there someday. (This is the same young gentleman who is 6-foot 42, whiter than white can be, unleashed on me in Japanese one day after I'd looked up a bunch of dirty words in Japanese on teh intarwebz and proceeded to give him Post-Its with the aforementioned dirty words written on them while he was at the Genius Bar, and told me this past Sunday that I smelled like Chow Mein [Lo Mein after I'd informed him that I don't like Chow Mein, and granted, I did comment that he smelled funny, which wasn't his fault because there was an unusual smell in the GR.]) Seeing Elyse's pictures definitely furthers my desire to leave the Home of the Brave for a bit. (Granted, a majority of the pictures she's posted that have kickstarted my desire for Asianic travel are of food ...)

I even informed Tedula Oblongatta (which is how he's labeled in my iPhone contacts, for those of you who are interested,) that I'd been reading Elyse's LiveJournal and was interested in traveling to China/Hong Kong/Thailand/Japan after seeing pictures of food.

On the subject of Ted and all things Asian, the little bastard has convinced our German professor that I speak Chinese. Since my grasp of German at the time was not at it's finest (and, a week later, it still isn't,) I failed to notice that he'd informed our professor that I could speak Chinese, and when she asked me if I spoke Chinese, my response was "No, I also speak Chinese," when the intended response was "No, I do NOT speak Chinese ... and Ted is a filthy liar." So guess who gets called on whenever anything regarding China, Chinese people or the Chinese language comes up in our German workbook?

~~~~~

After a rousing day of Rock Band with the illustrious SDJ last week, I have renewed my love of "Rock Band 2," which I've pretty much been playing religiously since. I've even mustered up the courage to attempt the orange button and start playing songs on "Hard" for bass. I like the challenge, however, Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf," while laughably easy now on Medium for guitar and boringly easy on Medium for bass, has become my archnemesis. Soon, Simon LeBon, soon ...

I am incredibly proud of my accomplishments and furthering my talents with a plastic toy guitar.

Speaking of plastic toy guitars, I am warming up to the wireless guitar I got last fall. Until recently, I preferred the standard wired guitar I got two Christmases ago with the original Rock Band Special Edition set (drums, microphone and guitar - and let me tell you, lugging that big ass box around the mall at Xmastime was the shit.) I wound up with the wireless guitar after I'd purchased a second (used) Rock Band 1 wired guitar from GameStop, only to find it had no downstroke and the strum bar was pretty wanged - you had to violently pull the thing upward in order to hit a note,) and since I was to be going to a friend's house to introduce him to the wonders of Rock Band 2, I figured I'd take the opportunity to trade the non-functioning guitar for a spiffy, functioning one. After a nice chat with the boys at GameStop, (who pretty much know all of us Apple folk since we're all huge nerds and go there like every day,) I was informed that there was pretty much just a 10$ difference between another wired guitar and a wireless (made for Rock Band 2.) And because of my affinity for shiny things, and the promise of a fully-functioning guitar controller, I caved and traded up for the wireless.

I refused to play the wireless for months, choosing my functioning wired guitar controller over the wireless, which sadly collected dust in the corner of the living room, only to be played when I either played with the friend whose use it was originally purchased, or someone else, until I accidentally forgot my wired guitar whilst bringing Rock Band 2 to Antwonton's house a couple weeks ago. Now, I (heart) it because I've now realized (I never said I was quick on the uptake, people,) that it doesn't take up a USB port on my XBox, leaving a port open ... also I think something's wrong with the wired guitar. :)

~~~~~

Tomorrow (or today, since it's quarter to 5 in the morning,) is the 22nd anniversary of the birth of Charizard. We will be celebrating in true nerd fashion - we'll be congregating later this afternoon for some Star Wars Monopoly and/or Star Wars Trivial Pursuit , then later on, we will be meeting up with Antwonton to play some Rock Band on his TeeVee you can see from space.

We're pretty classy.

~~~~~

So I watched "Wall-E" for the first time yesterday, then had some "Movietime with Mom" so she could enjoy it as well.

I know I'm pretty late getting into the "Wall-E" phenomenon, but after being at work on Sunday and watching a plethora of children playing the "Wall-E" game we have on the Children's Table iMacs, I felt it necessary to see what the fuss was about. I was not disappointed.



Unfortunately, Mom didn't "get" it. I informed her that if she didn't think the movie was at the very least adorable, then the terrorists, in fact, have won. (I also told KSluts, Doug and Tedula that if you do not find a song about mullets humorous, the terrorists have won as well, in reference to the Vandals' "I Have an Ape Drape".) Mom also didn't "get" that joke either. :(

~~~~~

Segwaying onto the topic of my mom, the woman absolutely slays me sometimes. :)

I've been the proud owner of an XBox 360 Elite for over a year now. Mom was aware of this purchase when she found the receipt for said XBox 360 Elite and had ripped me a new one for spending that much XMas money.

However, since the Box now lives in my room and no longer in the living room, she's forgotten pretty much all about it, which is fine because I'm pretty sure she's a huge technophobe and the beauty of an XBox would be completely lost on her anyway.

So, when I'd brought my XBox out to the living room and plugged it into our moderate TeeVee, Mom asked, "What's that black box?" To which I responded, "It's my XBox." "How long have you had it?" "For over a year."

To the untrained eye, that conversation wouldn't seem unusual. However, Mom asks me what the XBox is EVERY SINGLE TIME SHE SPOTS IT IN THE LIVING ROOM, which to me, is absolutely hysterical, since it happens so regularly. I'm not sure why she never remembers I have an XBox, but we always have a good laugh about it when I remind her I've had the thing forever. Mom claims it's senility kicking in. I just think she needs more ginko biloba in her diet.

Then again, there are definitely times she's told me about how she thought I was in my room and has had full-length conversations with me, only to have me walk into the house later that day or stumble out of my bed after having been in a coma, much to her surprise (and once, abject horror at the unkempt bedhead I presented her with) and embarrassed laughter. Though, I would be lying if I said that only happened to my mother ...

~~~~~

This is becoming a pretty lengthy blog. I haven't blogged in a while, so I guess it's due.

Anyway, yet another segway into yet another story! This one is from my days at college, when I lived in the dorm, and relates to the previous story about my mom having conversations with me when I wasn't home.

Apparently, I can be a sleep ninja. I have a tendency of curling up underneath my comforter completely with a pillow over my head, leaving room for air to circulate. Once in a while, a rogue appendage can be spotted sticking out from under the blanket. Since I pretty much live in a control base now, only one person has seen me sleeping recently, but I still believe that the sleep ninja thing stands.

One day, I awoke to my roommate, S, coming into our dorm room, quite panicked. (My bed was located directly in front of the door, which is information that will be useful soon.) I sat up, bedhead in full effect, and scare the bejesus out of her. The following is my paraphrasing of our conversation:
S: Where the HELL have you been?
Me: Sleeping, why?
S: I have been looking EVERYWHERE for you! How long have you been asleep?
Me: I don't know, since before you got home? I knocked out right after class.
(This timeframe was probably about 2 hours.)
S: You've been here the whole time?
Me: Yeah.
S: Well, shit.

As it turned out, S had been searching all over the dorm for me, asking pretty much every single person I'd ever come in contact with in our dorm building if they'd seen me. Some had, but that was during class. Most knew me as "The Pink Haired Girl From the Basement" and had not seen my florescent domepiece all day.

As we had a laugh about this, S told me that she passed my bed not once, not twice, not three times, but at LEAST 6 times in her ongoing effort to find me, since my bed was located DIRECTLY IN FRONT OF OUR DOOR, so it was the first thing she'd see when she walked into the room and the last thing she'd pass when she left.

I never found out what it was that she so desperately was trying to find me for, though for the rest of the day, every single person I passed in the hall told me that my roommate was looking for me.

A few days later, I walked into my dorm room to find S sitting on my bed, looking rather angry.
Me: What's up?
S: You think you're so clever, don't you?
Me: I have no idea what you're talking about.
S: I totally thought you were in your bed and I was TALKING TO YOU, only to find that you WEREN'T HERE.

College was awesome.

I had my first class of the semester on Monday. I'm taking German - Introduction to Speaking I with Ted.

We found out we have class with our buddy, Charlie.

If Monday's class was any indication of how the semester's going to go, we're pretty certain that this is going to be the best class.

Ever.

Suffice to say, we're pretty excited.

And it also helped that I had my mom cracking up while I was trying to read from my German book.

Awesome. :D

So my schedule has changed at work and my sleep schedule is, like my work schedule, all sorts of messed up.

I have spent the past five days (M-F) keeping very odd hours. I don't think I've woken up before noon at all - up until Thursday, I hadn't woken up before 1PM.

Today I was brutally woken up at 11AM by my mom calling to inform me that today was my grandmother's 90th birthday and my presence was requested at her house for lunch at noon. And considering the ringtone my mom has, you as well would be pants-shitting scared to being woken up by a "Jurassic Park" velociraptor. (For any of you wondering, Dad is the "JP" T-Rex, and it's equally as alarming being woken up by that as well.)

Then there's various napping throughout the day. I've been told I don't take naps - I take comas. I suppose that's true and I embrace that. My sleep habits are strange when there are other factors involved, ie: location, intoxication, illness, stress, etc.

I suppose stress has been a resounding factor in my odd sleep habits as of late. I have been very distressed lately - and none of which I'll blog publicly, as who the hell knows who reads this thing. This culminated a couple days ago when I was up until about 7AM and wound up "talking" to my mother from 6AM to 7 (when she demanded that I go to sleep because I was scaring her.) By "talking" I mean fidgeting, shaking, stuttering (which I am aware I do when I'm not "right," which is often a dead giveaway that something's wrong or bothering me) pacing and in her terms, acting mildly frenetic and definitely manic. Mom's advice was to nip this problem in the bud (which, the prospects of scare the bejesus out of me) and "get some sleep, kiddo."

Mom's been good lately - not as hot/cold.

I've been spending a good amount of time with Ted over the past three weeks and it's been fun. We have adventures.

For instance, we picked up "Shamu's Deep Sea Adventures" for the original XBox at one of the stores closing at the mall for $4.23. We went half on it, and because that bastard full out purchased "Last Remnant" for XBox 360 at ANOTHER store that's closing for 50% off, I was designated to play "Shamu." I played it and beat it in about 3 hours total, though I did have dinner, take a coma, download, play and beat another game, and watch a movie in between, so what started at around 5:30PM didn't end until about 3AM.

I just went into the kitchen for a drink and spotted a small black plastic bag. Inside the aforementioned bag was not one, but TWO jars of mayonnaise. And this is after my mother had bought a jar earlier today when she went shopping. I know not of the origins of these other two jars, but I'm not sure I like the idea of Kraft infiltrating my home with mayo, be it "real" or not.

How could I have ever saved you?
The only thing I'd ever done was care.
How could I have ever blamed you?
You never promised that you would always be there.

Can't sleep again. I had a huge angry blog typed that I had to password protect (http://ping.fm/Sravt) because both Doug and Ted advised the world was not ready for that much rage.

I'm jittery. People are noticing that I haven't been "right" for the past week.

I haven't had a decent night's sleep since December 17th. No, that's a lie - December 16th. I got a very irritating text message on the 17th and on the 18th, I was so uncomfortable, frustrated and out of sorts that I had made a lot of stupid mistakes. Haven't really slept since.

Today was a blah day. Or at least, it started as a blah day.

I've been sleeping a whole lot - compensating for the complete lack of sleep I'd been getting over the past two weeks, I guess. I woke up at around 1, then went back to sleep after a bit and eventually woke up for good at around 4:30.

I read some Penny Arcade and got a text from Tedula, which wound up with me going over and hanging out with him while he played THE SINGLE MOST BORING GAME EVER MADE FOR THE XBOX 360 - Elder Scrolls: Oblivion.

After we finally got bored of that to the point where we were going to pass out, we decided to call one of my CTG buddies, Icedevil, who'd called previously, but due to a lack of service in the basement of Ted's house, I couldn't answer the call.

Turns out, Icedevil was in Manchester, CT with another friend of ours, Nicki (or, Noisy Naked Nicki, as she's often called, as she's noisy, sometimes naked and her name is Nicki.)

A road trip was in order. We piled in Cole Train (my car,) and after a brief stop at the gas station, we were off. There was much singing in the car and a few detours, but we made it by around 11:15.

There was some drinking, and I abstained (aside from two beers) because I was driving.

Nicki accosted me in the women's room, telling me about how she thought Ted was hot and that she wanted to make out with him and all that. Then she asked if she could come back to Danbury with us so she could make out with Ted. For some reason, I agreed, thinking this was a good idea. Ted has already seen Nicki naked, so all was fine, right?

The car ride was ridiculous. Nicki was in the back seat, yelling and being noisy. Ted and I were singing "Hiphopotomus vs. the Rhymenoceros (featuring the Hiphopotomus and the Rhymenoceros)" by Flight of the Conchords. We do a mean duet.

There most definitely was a call to Anthony at 1:45 in the morning and Ted most definitely made Nicki talk to him. Eventually, I got on the phone with him, tired and frustrated, and Anthony did say that it was the most epic, creepy, weird and random phone call he's ever gotten at 1:45AM. We were glad to oblige.

Finally, we got back to Ted's and Ted immediately put Nicki to bed and turned out all the lights in the hope that she would not be able to navigate the house in the dark. He and I took the dog out and figured our plan of attack to bring Nicki back to Manchester tomorrow.

When we brought the dog back inside, Nicki was at the door. "I'm not a very good listener." Somehow she'd managed to find her way around the house. We aimed her to the bathroom and that's when I said my good-byes.

I got home at about 2:30AM. I'm now snuggled in my bed with Gavin.

It was a great night. I'm glad I went out and had a good time, because I'd been pretty effing down lately, and this definitely brightened my spirits.

I can't wait for the awesome car ride tomorrow with Ted, Anthony and Nicki.

However, I'm not particularly excited about the prospects of waking up before noon.

I don't do these things often, so give me a break. I'm also on day 1 of my "new and improved" 4 days off-3 days on work week. About that, I am not excited. :(

~~~~~

Crayon Box Survey

Red=ANGER

1. Are you currently mad at someone?
Aside from my usual and continual contempt for Anthony, no.

2. Which of your family members has the worst temper?
Probably me. I bottle up my frustrations and then unleash it at inopportune times, by doing or saying inappropriate things that I don't mean.

3. Have you ever thrown something at anyone?
I throw things at people all the time. I threw a pen at Doug yesterday. Not out of anger, though. I did get mad once and throw a watermelon on the floor.

4. Does your face turn red when you're angry?
No ... for some reason I don't blush, (I'm not sure if it's an Asian thing or what,) so my face does not get red when I'm angry. I wonder what color it turns, though, because I'm never near a mirror when I'm mad.

5. When you're mad do you prefer to stare angrily or yell?
I bitch and clench my fists and sometimes I yell. If I'm near a sandbox, I kick sand. Sometimes I even make an *enraged elephant noise*. (Throwing of fruit follows directly after.)

ORANGE = EXCITEMENT

1. Has anyone ever thrown a surprise party for you?
No. I'm not good at surprises. My friends all know very well not to come up behind me and startle me, because usually what follows is screaming (me) and pain (them,) since I have a tendency of blindly punching whoever it is that has scared me. I've punched poor Drea more times than I can remember ...

2. Are you easily excited?
Not anymore. Unless it's a sure thing, I try not to get my hopes up.

3. What event is coming up that you're most excited about?
... I'll come back to this one.

5. If you could have anything right now what would it be?
For the emptiness to be filled. (And where the hell did #4 go?)

YELLOW = SELF DISCOVERY

1. Name?
Dot (or Radar)

2. Birthday?
July 31 (Same as Harry Potter, Wesley Snipes and BJ Novak - Woo!)

3. What's your main goal in life?
To be happy ... I would also like to hold a koala.

4. Do you want to have children?
Eventually.

5. How do you want to die?
Personally, I'd like to go out in a blaze of glory, however, I almost died from a brain hemorrhage from laughing so hard at Janice's response, so I believe it bears repeating:

"anywhere but on the can. Maybe not at home in bed because I would feel bad for mike to see that. Plus dead bodies sometimes pee and crap and that would be a big mess to have to clean up... which brings me back to the toilet thing... maybe that wouldnt be so bad. You could just flush and Voila! Ship me on outta there."

GREEN = OPINIONS

1. Lower the drinking age?
No. I started drinking at the age of 3 ... and look how I turned out.

2. Capital punishment?
Sure. Not in the politcal sense, but I'd prefer to have less a-holes running around stealing my air.

3. Abortion?
Pro-Choice, goddammit. I don't want anyone else governing over what goes on in my uterus.

BLUE= LOVE

1. Do you love someone?
I care. Probably too much.

3. What did you get for Valentines Day?
Movie passes and a couple Star Wars trinkets.

4. Do you believe in love at first sight?
No, because usually, I'm looking at a tree or something behind the person in question, so he's all like "Woo, look at Dot" and I'm like "Ooo a bird!"

PURPLE = Q&A

Q: How many beds did you lay in today?
14 ... or just 1

Q: What color top are you wearing?
Navy Blue

Q: How much cash do you have on you right now?
2 bucks and assorted spare change. I tend not to carry cash on me.

Q: Is Tom On Your Top Friend or On Your Friends List?
Who? Oh that guy. No. <-- Good call, Janice

Q: Look to your left..?
A stack of DVDs (Constantine, Jaws 3), XBox 360 games (COD4, Gears of War 2, Rock Band 2, Halo 3), my iPhone and my car keys are all resting on top of my XBox.

Q: What's the last piece of clothing you borrowed from someone?
One of my friends' workshirts.

Q: What website(s) do you like to visit during the day?
http://ping.fm/FLQIF
http://cuteoverload.com
http://ping.fm/3v9UM

Q: Do you have plants in your room?
I don't do well with plants.

Q: Does anything hurt on your body right now?
Gavin (Turdie) scratched my foot. That hurts pretty bad, alongside the paper cut on my right hand pinky knuckle I got at the Genius Bar the other day.

Q:When was your last taxi cab ride?
Edinburgh 07, drunkenly slurring that I needed to "go the fuck back to my flat"

Q:Do you own a picture phone
Yes and there are 350 pictures currently on it.

Q: Last time you cried?
When I fucked up.

-PINK = LAST

1. Person you saw?
I think it was Adam as I was saying goodbye to him on my way out the door from work yesterday.

3. Movie watched in cinema?
The Spirit on Xmas day with Charizard.

4. Song you listened to?
Last: "Savior" - Rise Against

5. Person you talked on the phone with?
Shawn Turner! He was waiting at the eye doctor.

GRAY = TODAY

1. What are you doing right now?
Finishing up this survey before I take a shower and go hang out with Tedula.

2.What are you doing tonight?
Hanging out with the illustrious Tedula Oblongatta ... and most likely getting yelled at by the aforementioned Tedula Oblongatta.

BROWN = TOMORROW

1. Is...?
Tuesday

2. Goal?
Wake up.

3. Are you going to laugh?
Hopefully.

4. Are you doing anything tomorrow?
Nothing planned. I lead a very interesting life.

There's nothing terribly wrong with feeling lost, so long as that feeling precedes some plan on your part to actually do something about it.

Too often a person grows complacent with their disillusionment, perpetually wearing their "discomfort" like a favorite shirt.

I can't say I'm very pleased with where my life is just now...

but I can't help but look forward to where it's going.

When I was young,
I was so full of fear.
I hid behind anger,
Held back the tears.
It was me against the world,
I was sure that I'd win.
But the world fought back,
Punished me for my sins.
I felt so alone,
So insecure.
I blamed you instead,
Made sure I was heard.
And they tried to warn me of my evil ways.
But I wouldn't hear what they had to say.

I was wrong,
Self-destruction's got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.

And I think about my loves,
Well, I've had a few.
Well, I'm sorry that I hurt them,
Did I hurt you too?
I took what I wanted,
Put my heart on the shelf.
But how can you love when you don't love
yourself?
It was me against the world,
I was sure that I'd win.
The world fought back,
Punished me for my sins.
And they tried to warn me of my evil ways
But I couldn't hear what they had to say.

I was wrong,
Self-destruction's got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.

I grew up fast,
And I grew up hard.
Something was wrong from the very start.
I was fighting everybody,
I was fighting everything.
But the only one that I hurt was me.
I got society's blood running down my face.
Somebody help me get outta this place.
How could someone's bad luck last so long?
Until I realized that I was wrong.

I was wrong,
Self destruction's got me again.
I was wrong,
I realize now that I was wrong.
I was wrong,
Self-destruction's got me again.

I was wrong,
The only one that I hurt was me.
I was wrong.

I read this on Sean McGuinness' site "Twisted Kaiju Theater" (http://ping.fm/hDFSk). I felt it necessary to re-post.

"Is December really almost over with, already? Jesus fuck all Christ. I will tell you one thing, I'm DONE with 2008. Bring on 2009 and a hope for a better tomorrow. I've spent almost every day of the last few months looking back on the fucked up shit in my life that was mostly my fault. I feel like Kratos from God of War. I want the gods to take away my memories of all my mistakes so I don't cringe when I look back on the fingerpainting tapestry that is my life. But where and what am I without those mistakes? I think if I got a do-over I could do things better. But I'd rather get anally raped by King Kong than spend one minute back in high school. You have to accept who you are, and I'll tell you right now that is the HARDEST thing thing to do. If I met my own clone I probably wouldn't get along with myself. I don't see how my wife does."

Interesting and colorful outlook. I definitely understand that coming to terms with oneself is difficult. I also agree with his views on high school. But in all honesty, I am what my mistakes have made me. I've learned from them and I've evolved.

Evolution is key.

And I honestly can say that I've learned enough about myself this past year, hell, the past few months, to say that I can't wait for a new year and a more improved me.There have been people I've met this past year that have put forth a good effort into making me a better person, whether they realize it or not. Sure, I still have my moments, which have definitely made some people irritated with me, but it's those mistakes that keep me moving forward.

A wise person and good friend told me that I can't waste time on things that have happened. I can't change them, so why spend my life wondering about what could have been? To look forward toward what I need to do and become, is progress.

It's been a shitty week, no doubt, and it's been primarily my fault. I've made my apologies, but as they say, time heals all wounds. I know I'll stop feeling stupid and stop being mad at myself, and hopefully, I'll be forgiven for the errors I've made. I'm not perfect - far from it - and as much as I want to deny it, I am still human.

To err is human, to forgive, divine. I've erred ... and now I need to forgive myself for it.

I seek redemption.

So I had a whole blog written. Then I started messing around and messed it all up.In short:- I have a head cold. It's more of an inconvenience than anything else.- It's been a weird week.- I'm watching "The Cell" on my instant Netflix Queue. I forgot that it's like an hour and a half long Marilyn Manson music video. And I also forgot that you definitely get to see a split-second shot of Vincent D'Onofrio's wang.- Borrowed "Event Horizon" from a friend. Ripped it from the DVD, but the AVI type supposedly isn't supported by my XBox. Not a huge deal in retrospect, but irritating nonetheless. Attempting to convert it to another format supported by XBox.

Here are the rules if you want to make your own...

Step 1: Put your music player on shuffle.
Step 2: Post the first line from the first 25 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing.
Step 3: Strike through the songs when someone guesses both artist and track correctly.
Step 4: For those who are guessing -- looking the lyrics up on a search engine is CHEATING!
Step 5: If you like the game, post your own.

P.S. - A lot of these are from the same artist - I didn't realize I was listening to my car playlist until I was done.

1.) I remember when I was told the story of crushed velvet, candle wax and dried up flowers.
2.) It won't be easy, you'll think it's strange.
3.) I'm the mother-flippin' Rhymenoceros.
4.) I am a death house, haunted mirror, acerbic heart - ain't nothin' pure in here.
5.) I got a big cock, he's so damn big.
6.) Far from home, on a road unknown.
7.) I've got a book of matches, I've got a can of kerosene.
8.) In the face of change, that's when she turned to me and said "I'm not sure anymore."
9.) Sometimes I think I'm gonna drown 'cause everyone around's so hollow.
10.) Breathe deep and easy, swallow this pride.
11.) There's nothing I truly desire.
12.) I'm not a perfect person, there's many things I wish I didn't do.
13.) Day after day, your whole life's a wreck.
14.) Ask me a question, I'll tell you all I know.
15.) I'm in the business of misery.
16.) Somewhere between happy and total fucking wreck.
17.) Breaking my back just to know your name.
18.) Holy eyes, I never knew I'd beg down at your feet.
19.) I can't stand it, I know you planned it.
20.) It kills me not to know this, but I've all but just forgotten what the color of her eyes were or her scars or how she got them.
21.) They turn the lights down low, in shadows hiding from the world.
22.) Like the latest fashion, like a spreading disease, the kids are strapping on their way to the classroom, getting weapons with the greatest of ease.
23.) All we are is entertainment, caught up in our own derangement; tell us what to say and what to do.
24.) I will dedicate and sacrifice my everything for just a second's worth before my story's ending.
25.) One last thing, I beg you please, just before you go.

Well, I got into a car accident today on my way into work.

I was driving along, hit some ice and spun out, eventually slamming into a stone wall in someone's front yard. I'm a little sore, but I'm going to be OK.

Car, on the other hand, will need a lot of work:
http://ping.fm/NRte8

The airbags deployed, which will cost upwards of a couple thousand dollars to fix, as I also need to now get the dashboard replaced. The front bumper also needs to be fixed, as well as probably the driver-side fender.

I am very upset about this, because my car was my only "real" sanctuary. With it, I could get away from places that make me uncomfortable and it just made me feel more independent.

What also makes me upset is the fact that as soon as it happened, I hopped out of my car, all freaked out and shaking, and my first worry was that I was going to be late for work. Had the people from the house whose stone wall I'd hit not come out and told me to call 911, I would have called work to tell them I was going to be late. In fact, work was the second call I made. Only after I'd told my manager I was going to be late did I call my mother to tell her what happened. As of right now, my dad doesn't even know.

I don't like how I'm afraid to call out of work. So many people have been fired for being late too many times and I recently was given an attendance point for when I was sick for a week. So now I have two attendance points, even though I went into work late today. :(

I don't know what I'm going to do - if the dashboard & airbags are going to cost a couple thousand dollars alone, I can't afford a new car - I just got this one not too long ago. I can't really afford to fix it, either.

~~~~~

On to better things - good nights! Lately, I've been spending lots of time with a good friend, BCL. He's been a lifesaver, to be honest, and I don't know if he'll ever really know how much I appreciate his friendship, or even his just being there.

Yeah, there's tons of rumors about what's going on - some within my own family, which is frustrating, but in the grand scheme of things, I don't really care - let'em talk. I don't need to justify or defend myself anymore. I don't have the time to worry about petty talk.

BCL's just someone I'm comfortable around and with. I enjoy spending time with him and for some reason, probably something I'll never really know, he tolerates me. He puts up with my BS better than anyone I've ever met, which means he's either incredibly tolerant, or just a sucker for punishment. (I like to think the former.)

~~~~~

VIDEO GAMES!

I spend lots of time playing video games and playing around with the New XBox Experience. I love the Netflix feature and I'm kind of digging the whole avatar thing.
http://ping.fm/pJkzj

The Netflix streaming feature is great - I'm currently watching the first season of "seaQuest DSV" (anyone remember that show?) and that's awesome. I've also seen so many awesome B-Horror/Sci-Fi flicks, it's almost ridiculous. Hehe.

I've also been going gung-ho with Gears of War 2. It's strange, because the first Gears gave me horrible night terrors. (Due to the lambent wretches - lumbering, screaming, glowing little bastards that explode when you kill them. The screaming ... oh the screaming ...) But I'm loving Gears 2. I beat the solo campaign and now I'm working on the Co-Op campaign with bl0r, which has been fun. We played for like 4 and a half hours the other night, which was pretty awesome. We're about 2/3 through the game now.

XBox is a nice break from reality. :)

~~~~~

Sore from the accident and realizing the real gravity of the situation. No car, no money to fix car and dealing with the fact that I don't like having to be driven around everywhere.

Hopefully, after I'm done battling with the insurance company tomorrow, I'll have a rental car, which is pretty much the only redeeming factor of being 26.

It's been a full week without a cigarette.

It's been a relatively good week.

However ...

- I am coughing up the most unholy goo every 5-10 minutes, the color of which can only be described as "death."
- I've been woozy, nauseas and lethargic all week, but I have a feeling that's from actually being sick as opposed to quitting smoking.
- I've had issues with my body temperature; going from severe chills to overwhelming hot and sweating, which may or may not have something to do with withdrawls?  I don't really know.
- I had the shakes really badly earlier.  I was trying to choke down some rice but had trouble, because my hand was shaking so badly, the rice kept falling off the fork.  That's better now, but I still don't feel quite "right."

What sucks is that the one person who actually gave me a boot to the ass to quit hasn't really been around, which is probably been good, because I've been freaking the hell out this week.  But, thanks though, you really helped a lot and I appreciate it.

I called out of work yesterday, after fighting nausea/sweats on Friday and today, I went in and almost immediately began throwing up, so I had to leave.  The worst thing though was that no sooner do I walk in the door, looking like absolute death, than the lady whose work I do (because she's too busy getting into other peoples' business and blaming everyone but her as to why her work doesn't get done,) walked over and started yelling at me because I apparently messed something up while doing HER work.  So, fighting off the urge to vomit, I explained why I did what I did (my excuse was basically - I didn't know any better and no one told me differently,) she just turned around and muttered "feel better."  Not.  Cool.

Came home, laid in bed all day watching the first season of "Dexter."  I managed to watch episodes 2-12, which was awesome.  (I watched the first episode yesterday.)  Tomorrow, if I'm not feeling better, will be spent watching all of Season 2.

Ugh, my tummy is full of phlegm and that's all that's been coming up when I've been throwing up today.  And yes, it IS just as horrific as it sounds.  Thankfully, the rice I had for dinner helped and I haven't been sick since.

~~~~~

All things considered, if I didn't have whatever it is that's going around on top of my quitting, I'd feel so much better.  And considering that a week ago, I was up to almost a pack a day, the fact that I've gone without for an entire week without any real desire has been monumental.

~~~~~

Being sick sucks.  Wang.  It sucks wang.  A lot.

At least I also have the next three days off to feel better, or at least try.

Hooray! The American public has made a step in the right direction! They (I say "they" because I'm not registered to vote and had nothing to do with the election,) elected Senator Barack Obama as our next president! He'll be our first African American president, which is going to be an awesome change. I'm excited for the next four years.

~~~~~

Enough said about politik, as it's not something I readily understand, so until I know more about it, I won't comment.

~~~~~

Things are always up and down. I'm trying to deal as best I can, with the people I love.

~~~~~

I'm in the process of ripping my DVDs to my computer so I can get rid of the discs. I want to give away/sell pretty much everything I own. I need a lifestyle change and I want that to be it. I have too much crap and not enough time for it.

I'm thinking I'll burn as many of my DVDs as possible, get myself an external hard drive and put ALL of my movies on that. I think that'll work. It'll be my movie drive and I can then take it places and watch movies with friends and such.

I really just want to move out and have as little crap to take with me as possible. Aside from the animals and my clothes/bedding, I really only want my computer (+ printer and Time Capsule), my XBox (+ accessories), my XBox's monitor and maybe a couple things that I treasure. Aside from that, everything that ain't nailed down needs to GO!

~~~~~

It's been a kind of depressing day ... nothing to do ... I barely got out of bed today ... laid around, watching movies, played video games ... had a slight meltdown to Charizard ...

Ugh.

I'm at work at the moment, keeping myself busy and avoiding getting in trouble.

Today is Halloween and although we're not allowed to dress up in a costume, we are allowed to do whatever we want with our hair, (which is more or less the norm,) so today I decided to liberty spike my Mohawk. I re-dyed it a deep turquoise last night, and it came out well - but time will tell if I decide to wash it. Keeping my hair a pleasing (to me) color as of late has been nothing short of a nightmare.

~~~~~

Lately I've been doing what I can to make it through the week. Spending time with good friends has been a huge help.

I finally had some closure with an ex, "B," which has been like a 200lb weight off my shoulders. When I dated him, I was 21 and he was 31. I'm now 26 and he's 36. I cared for him and part of me, I guess, still does, but what I realized back then and still feel now is that I can't see having a future with him. I can't see myself married to him, let alone having a family. As absolutely beautiful and gorgeous as he is, I really don't think he's "the one." Hell, at this point in my life, I'm not comfortable enough with myself to be in a relationship, though I would not at all be opposed to just random sloppy make-outs. ;)

~~~~~

Shawn, Best Friend Extraordinaire, is calling ... to the phone!

I like to keep myself busy and I think I've kept myself busy enough to be able to only sporadically blog.

I'm OK. Still alive and kicking and all that jazz.

I've got a new goal to attain - to be successful enough the rest of this year to be considered for the GYO Genius position, which I can see myself enjoying. I want to go where the action is - I want to be in a position where there is NO down time, because then it feels like I'm bettering myself.

Regrettably, I don't spend nearly enough time with Ted and Anthony anymore, which saddens me. Ted is busy with school and work and Anthony and I haven't really been getting along as well as we used to (a phase I hope ends soon because I miss him,) but I've been fortunate enough to spend time with Charizard and Blor. They are great. I appreciate them. Even though Charizard threatens bodily harm if we don't get AT LEAST 4 stars in Rock Band 2 and in Lego Star Wars, Blor likes to run up to me while I'm collecting stuff and slap the shit out of me, then run away giggling. XBox 360 aside, I do enjoy their company and the time I spend with them is very important to me.

OMGWTFBBQ!!!! Shawn is coming home for a few days!!!!!!!11!!!! I've missed his silly ass for far too long and when he called last night and asked if I wanted to hang out next week, I was on top of the world. We're also thinking of sometime next spring, taking a trip together and possibly getting tattoos.

There's been a 6'2 nerdy hole in my heart for the past year since he's been gone. We've had our ups and our downs, like in any friendship, but we've still remained friends and I can't wait to see him. The phone calls are fun, but it will be even more fun to see him in person. I can't wait! I promised him that I'd try to introduce him to Charizard and Blor, whom he's excited to be meeting, since he wants to make sure they're taking care of me. :) I know he'll like them.

Since I stopped doing the seriously bad thing that I'd been doing for years, (could I be more vague?) I'm noticing a lot of things that were missing from my life. The first week was rough, but I pulled through and now things that didn't bother me before are now smacking me directly in the face. Things at home are showing their true colors and well, it ain't fun. I need to get out of here. ASAP. My mental health depends on it.